Today has been a good day physically and emotionally. I feel one step closer to getting home where I belong.
Sleep came in bits and pieces last night, trying to get comfortable with a bloody great metal cage around your leg is, not surprisingly, rather difficult! And sleeping in a hospital is just such a strange environment, I don’t think you can ever sleep properly. I miss having James next me too. Hospitals at night are lonely places. I miss tucking my children in. I always take a second just to watch them sleeping and I miss that.
So, when the Physiotherapist came into my room at 9am I was feeling less than enthusiastic. But as it turned out it wasn’t too bad. She had me lifting my right leg up and out straight and holding it for a couple of seconds and then lowering it. I had to do that 5 times. I’ve also got a rather attractive black shoe on that foot attached to my cage with velcro straps to pull and keep my foot at a 90degree angle so I don’t get a floppy foot. I’m just all about style at the moment. It’s not pleasant, it kind of hurts and aches but it’ll get easier.
Once she’d gone my nurse came in and she washed my hair. Oh my god …. amazing. I’ve had a bed bath every day but having my hair properly shampoo’d and conditioned and really cleaned was just lovely. I never knew that having clean hair would be such a major thing and make such a difference to my outlook on the day ahead. It made me feel happy which under the circumstances isn’t happening very often.
After yesterday’s awful attempt at using my zimmer frame to get me from bed to chair and sitting down (resulting in as close to fainting as you can get without actually fainting) I was very nervous about trying again but I had to. I can’t and won’t be stuck in a bed every day. So instead of using the zimmer I sat on the edge of the bed and then bum shuffled across from the bed to the chair and I managed to sit in it for 15 minutes before I needed to be back in bed. It was an amazing feeling to be sat down properly. It made my legs hurt, especially the right one as all the blood just rushes down and I need to get used to putting weight on it. But the pain is worth it to just be sat in that chair. I love being in a chair and out of this bed. It also means that as I can get from bed to chair I will be able to get from bed to comode so my catheter can finally come out. Kind of fed up of the whole world being able to see how much I pee.
The police came to see me today as well. He needed to just get my version of events and to find out what I wanted to do.
I had three options 1. Prosecute 2. Do nothing 3. Suggest she go to a driving improvement thing.
The callous woman left me there. I am prosecuting.
The police officer agreed with my decision.
He was able to tell me that she admitted that she did see me but she says that I stepped back. This is not true, I remember every single second and I did not step back. But even so, the road is wide and open and even if I had stepped back she admitted that she saw me yet made no attempt to avoid me, there was no emergency stop after she hit me and there was no concern at my obvious pain after running me over. I don’t think I have ever truly hated anyone but I can honestly say that her I hate. I don’t want to feel this way but at the moment that’s where I am.
I think today has been the first day I haven’t cried. I’m so glad that James hasn’t had to go home leaving me behind upset. I hate what this must be doing to him. He is here every day being so wonderful and so strong for me and being an amazing Daddy at home, he is keeping everything together. He is keeping me together. He is my rock.