The cuddles from my gorgeous boys continued today. I didn’t think it was possible to love them anymore that I already did but my heart is just bursting. I know I keep saying it but I really am so proud of all three of my children, they are amazing.
I woke up very grouchy today, snapping at everyone and just generally in a foul mood. I wasn’t born for cold weather and with not being mobile I am feeling the cold most of the time. This makes Kerry miserable! Guilt builds up inside me as I look at those helping me though. They are being so unselfishly amazing and they don’t deserve my sharp tongue. I am going to really work hard to not be so short with them, but I wont make promises I cannot keep so for now I will simply promise to try. I hope they understand.
I dragged us out to town today in search of jeans that could be modified only to find that it’s apparently the season for shorts and skinny jeans. So a slight change of plan, thanks to a fellow ‘Fixator’ I have been given the idea of making a cage warmer. I am now on the hunt for some funky fury material ……. I will not be beaten …….
However, the fresh air, a coffee and a muffin blew away the frustrations and smiles returned.
It’s hard to see the person that others see in me. I don’t feel strong or amazing, I just get through each day the best I can. I try not to look too far into the further as you just never know what will happen. After all, I didn’t expect to be run over, so I don’t want to take my road to recovery for granted. I try to keep positive, however hard it is some days, and I think it’s getting easier. I don’t cry as often which is a relief to me and I’m sure it is to those close to me.
I am really shocked at the amount of people that are reading this blog. I am so grateful for the support and encouragement I have received. Writing this diary is helping me enormously, I don’t always find talking easy but I know that it wouldn’t be healthy to keep everything bottled up either. This is the best solution and I hope that it may help others too, whether you are in the same situation as me or not. Sometimes you just need to know that you’re not alone.
To anyone reading this that may have found themselves in a scary, unplanned place, you really are not alone. Keep your head held high and keep your heart open and you will find an inner strength that you didn’t know you had.