As night fell upon us yesterday and tiredness was winning the fight, James revealed that I only had four sleeping tablets left. We were unsure as to whether I would be prescribed anymore so I decided to bite the bullet and give sleep a try without medication whilst we still had the back up should it be needed.
I’m happy to say the I won the battle. The nightmares stayed away and I was able to sleep right through. That small step has brought with it such relief as I was so worried about becoming addicted to them. Maybe I was worrying unnecessarily as I wasn’t taking them for a long period, but nevertheless it did weigh on my mind and I am pleased that there is one less step to overcome.
Luckily the flashbacks don’t haunt me at night, they seem to prefer to appear during the day when I fall into the space between awake and asleep. I do think they are happening less often though which is positive.
The postman delivered a letter from Thames Valley Police today requesting my formal statement so I am taking this as a sign that my case will go to court. This is exactly what we wanted to hear so a sense of relief can now be felt now. But the thought of actually having to go to court is quite frankly petrifying! I do want to see her and to be able to look into her eyes. I also want her to face what she has done. Had she shown some remorse maybe I wouldn’t feel such bitterness towards her but she acted appallingly and for that she needs to pay the price. I don’t believe she went into shock, she is a cold hearted human being who shouldn’t be allowed on the roads.
I have definitely had more pain in my legs over the last couple of days. Not unbearably so but it has definitely increased. Maybe I should slow down a bit and rest more, however sitting around doing nothing has never been my forte! I have to see the nurse tomorrow to clean the pin sites on my right leg so I hope that they are still healing well without any infection. My body has done me proud so far with it’s ability to heal well, let’s hope it continues it’s good work.