It’s Been Four Weeks (almost)

You’ll be pleased to know that after a good nights sleep I am a much happier person today!
Sleep is a funny thing now. I was one who would cocoon themselves in the duvet, pull my legs right up and snuggle all night. I loved the feel of cold sheets on my feet. Now I have no choice but to lie on my back and I cannot bear the weight of the duvet on my toes. I have to sleep at an incline because of the frame, I cannot be flat and my legs are surrounded by pillows to support them whilst I sleep. I wonder if sleep will ever be the same for me again. Will my dreams always be taken over by dark thoughts and will the night always seem so daunting? Any sense of hope that I might have seems to leave with the sun each day.

Tomorrow is four weeks since the accident, today is three weeks to the day since my operation. When I look back, in some aspects time has flown by, so much has happened in such a relatively short space of time. But then I also feel as though I have felt each second tick by painfully slowly.
How is it possible to feel so differently about the same space of time?
I still have 13 weeks left to live with the frame on my right leg, however I am halfway through the first stage of recovery with my left. There is always a positive there somewhere. In another three weeks I will hopefully be allowed to begin weight bearing which will make mobility so much easier.

The big toe on my right foot is still completely numb. I have no idea if something happened to it at the accident or if it’s happened since the operation, but whatever the cause I find it extremely annoying! It’s on my list of things to talk to my surgeon about next time we are back for a check up.
My left ankle is more painful today than normal, I hope it’s mending pain. Luckily today we don’t. have to go anywhere so I can rest.

The boys are becoming more confident and at ease with me every day. My lap is once again a safe place and my cuddles send the sadness away. Afternoon snuggles on ‘Mummy’s big bed’ are a common occurrence, one habit that I would be happy to keep. It’s the little things in life that mean the most.


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