People automatically ask how you are, it’s just what you do isn’t it? No matter what the situation, you ask how someone is. It’s human nature.
I’m too afraid to answer with anything other than ‘I’m ok’
If I admit that I’m not ok then I might just fall apart and if I fall apart and cry then I might not be able to stop. What happens if I can’t stop? I have to be strong, I have to be coping.
Well it’s honesty time. I’m not doing ok. I’m not strong and I’m not ok. I am really struggling and quite frankly I have no idea how to get myself up. Every day I feel more frustrated. Every night I dread having to try and sleep.
I’m fed up with sounding so miserable all of the time.
Apparently it gets easier, I can’t see it at the moment. I feel like I am living in pure hell.
I have always said I am a big believer in everything happening for a reason, and I still believe that, however I am yet to find why this had to happen to me, to my family. It’s just not fair. I don’t know how to find the answers that are there.
Now I’m going to go, scream and cry my heart out and hope that tomorrow the sun shines, even just a little bit.