Today the sun has been shining, inside and out, what a beautiful day!
Last night before bed, to try and help with my inability to sleep, I had a cup of hot milk with some grated nutmeg. I’m unsure whether it was that, the crisp clean sheets or sheer exhaustion that helped me to sleep, but sleep I did for around 5 hours. Even when I did wake up I was able to drift back again relatively easily. How amazing it was this morning to feel rested.
And the good feelings continued……
With the boys being so comfortable with my new position in the house, cuddles are a plenty and a different sense of normality is taking shape. This morning they were quite happy for me to take charge from my chair and get them dressed and ready to go to nursery. I am gradually finding my place back in the family mix and it feels wonderful and if can only go from strength to strength.
After seeing the boys off with a kiss and a smile James and I made our way to the hospital for my next check up. I was feeling a mixture of excitement, I wanted to see how the bones were healing, but also a little nervous, what if things weren’t fixing? Could I handle a knock back?
I need not have worried, my bones are working a small miracle.
The X-rays showed the extent of the damage that was done to my legs but also the magic that is going on within.
The left leg, with it’s metal screws and plate, has healed so far just as it should. This means I have been able to exchange the cast for a Samsonite boot. It’s big, bulky, black and hot …… but it brings me the ability to bein weight bearing! I can now partial weight bear, enough to move around and balance. In the next two weeks I should be able to begin full weight bearing. In just one short month my left leg is halfway to recovery. Well done bones!
Good ole Nicholas is fulfilling his responsibilities too. Even though there is no sign yet of healing to the bones, it wasn’t expected at this stage. However everything is looking good (well as good as a leg with multiple fractures and pins holding it together can look) and my surgeon is happy.
The tibia is broken in various places, there is a clean break at the top and multiple breaks (where the car ran over it) further down. If the bottom fractures heal before the top I might need another operation to insert more pins and tighten the frame to squeeze the bones together. This doesn’t concern me in the slightest. I have come this far, I can deal with that.
I have total faith in my surgeon that he will do whatever necessary to fix my legs and I will do my part and stay strong.
Pulling up to the house I was excited, I had butterflies, my heart raced a little too fast, would I be able to walk? Was I expecting too much?
James wheeled me into the house and up from the wheelchair and onto the zimmer I went and I walked, actually walked!!!
Both feet on the ground, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other.
I made it roughly five feet and promptly burst into tears. I have never felt so many emotions at once, relief, happiness, excitement, nervousness …. I felt free and independent for the first time in five weeks. I wasn’t reliant on anyone, just me and my frame. In the flick of a switch the world no longer seems likes a scary place.
I can walk!! It’s going to take some practice, I need to learn how to walk properly again, at the moment each step is slow and precise, it isn’t natural yet, but I can do it! YES!!!!!!!
Looking at the x-rays is very surreal. It’s an indescribable feeling to look at the broken bones and accept that they are mine. They bring back memories of the accident, the horror and the pain, but they also tell and wonderful, beautiful story.
It’s an ongoing story of stength, courage and faith, as yet I don’t know how the story will end, but I am excited and ready to find out.
I have a new fire burning in me, I feel alive!