Cleaning, Friends & Ouch!

The day started with tears, has ended with pain but the middle bit was alright!

When I bum shuffled down the first set of stairs this morning I was greeted with two cheeky smiles on the landing. My gorgeous little boys! Henry was eager to show me something very funny in his eyes, him wearing my Ugg boots. However, before I had a chance to tell him to move away from the stairs he was attempting to put them, lost balance and toppled head first down them and all I could do was watch and yell for James. I promptly burst into tears, totally mortified that there was nothing I could do, yet again, to comfort my son. He wasn’t hurt, just shocked, and I think I was more upset than him.

So, after eating breakfast amongst the madness that is our house in the mornings I did what I do to relieve stress …… I cleaned!
I got myself up on my crutches and I cleaned my kitchen sides and sink, emptied and re-filled the dishwasher, swept the kitchen floor and hung some washing up to dry. Boy, it felt so good to be doing just normal things! I never thought I’d see the day when I got actually excited by menial household jobs!

We have a few plans here and there for this week which I like. However much I hate going out, especially if it means being around people, I know I must do it. I can’t be a hermit and the longer you avoid something the worse it becomes. I hate wishing time away but I really want July to be over with. When we finally reach August I will be able to say that next month, I will be Nicholas free. I don’t care about the cast or boot that I might have afterwards, anything but the cage.

The house has been filled with laughter and fun today. We had an extra toddler running around as we were looking after a friends little boy. It is so uplifting to hear the giggles of small children and see them interact with each other and they are such good friends it was really beautiful watching them play.
The friend in question has been an absolute tower of strength to not only me but James as well. Nothing is ever too much trouble and she is always there with a cuddle and a smile. She is one of life’s good people and I feel very lucky to be able to call her a friend. Love you x

It has taken a while for my boys to become comfortable with me and my legs. Now they quite happily clamber onto my lap, play with the metal rings on my cage, tread on my toes if I’m stood up. It is hard to find the right balance between them being happy and natural with me yet aware that I do still have bad legs (something Archie could do well to remember when he’s launching a fire engine at me for me to save!) I am always very cautious to tell them to back off in case I push them away. But a lesson learnt tonight as Henry was sat on my lap and promptly fell onto my left leg …… ouch!! It was elevated in front of me and luckily I had the boot on but the pain! How I didn’t release a torrent of foul language is beyond me.
Needless to say I am now reaping the benefits of painkillers washed down with a cold beer!

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Love Love Love

I had to spend the morning reliving the whole accident, in minute detail.

Our solicitor came to see us for the first time today so he needed all of the information again. The case will be long but we are prepared for that. Unsurprisingly the woman hadn’t told her insurance company, she probably still believes she did nothing wrong. We just need to wait now and see what they/she say, if they admit liability or not. Even though it would make it all the easier emotionally if she just admitted fault, I’m not going to hold my breath.

But for every bad moment, we have to find the good one.
I found mine in the form of my gorgeous boys. We have made progress, they both sat on my bed this morning whilst I was still sat on it! We tickled each other and laughed and my heart could have exploded with love. One small act bought so much joy and they are totally oblivious!

So my travels continued today. After a morning of sitting I got myself into my wheels and spun on down to Charleigh’s School Jubilee Party 🙂 It was spitting, cold and I felt so tired but it was really important to me to go for Charleigh. She was looking forward to it so much she was almost bouncing off of the walls this morning! She has been through so much and I feel that we need to remember that she is still only a ten year old little girl who needs her Mummy and Daddy.

I won’t let any of my family feel as though what has happened to me is more important than them. They are my everything and are getting me through each day. Their smiles, laughter and just simple normality are all I need. For small fractions of the day, when I am consumed by their enthusiasm for life, I can almost forget.

I am getting very frustrated at not being able to move around my house and get things that I want or need. I hate having to wait for someone else to go and get my clothes to get dressed. The frustration can make me really snappy and I hate being like that. I don’t honestly believe that anyone, who hasn’t been in a situation like this, else really understands.

But I have found a group of people that do understand through the miracle that is the Internet. I found a forum for people with Ilizarov Fixators and from that a support group on Facebook. We are all from different parts of the world, at different stages of recovery but are all connected by pure chance. I am looking forward to getting to know them and hopefully offering as well as taking advice and help.

My life is so full of amazing people, I feel very blessed. I have been overwhelmed with the love, help, encouragement and generosity of friends. Some have been life long friends, others just weeks before the accident. Some I haven’t even met. There are some truly good people in this world, and after everything, they really put my faith back in human kind.

I am ending the day happy.